Why would a girl... (Page 2)

I wanted to keep my last name because we had all girls in my family and I was the youngest. I just felt like the name was dying for our family when I got married. I wanted to pass it along but then realized it still wouldn't be passed to anyone so I let it go. That and I was a preschool teacher and it would have been way too much of a mouthful for the kids to keep track of 2 last names.

I see more and more woman keeping their maiden name as a middle name and changing last name.

It would seem natural to me that some women wouldn't want to change their name.  As my wife put it to me, if it's such a big deal why don't you switch to mine.  Full disclosure she did change but it made sense. 

What's her first name?  I could understand if it's Flick or Jelly.

Dude!!  Yikes!!

So, since I know you AND I know the girl I have a pretty good idea here.

My guess is that you're question stems not from the issue of changing names/not changing names......it's that she's subtly telling you she's giving you six months to take it that next level of commitment or else.  Right??

I can tell you why she seemed to flip-flop.  She's a tough chick, but still a chick.  I get this concept in a big way.  She wants to stay tough, protect herself....but she still has emotions and sometimes it's tough to balance the toughness and the emotions.  

She meets you, is not that invested yet, has her "I don't give a crap about marriage" wall up.  Now months later, she's invested, she loves you and she's letting the wall down, but it's a slow process.  Instead of just coming right out, emoting, saying "look, I really love you and hope this leads to marriage", she's telling you in subtle ways because opening up THAT much is hard for the girl.

But the most important question I have for you is this.......are you thinking marriage with this girl or not?  If not, do you need more time?  Or is this the point at which you face the fact that she's not "the one"?  Or do you want to be with her forever but don't want to do the marriage thing again?

Lisa.

No, it's not me either

This!  Changing your last name is a HUGE PITA.  I changed mine because my maiden name is hard to spell and I don't really WANT to be connected to my father anymore, but if my maiden name was Smith I probably wouldn't have bothered to change it.

You know Betonce was right...

If ya like it then ya got out a ring on it....

but i bet she didn't change her name...

I think her legal name is now Beyonce Z

It's seriously a HUGE PITA to change your name!!

Both Tony and I have changed our last names once, and neither one of us is eager to do it again with all the hassle that goes along with it, but if he wants to change his last name so that it's the same as mine - that's fine with me.   

I have a friend that REALLY didn't want to change her last name so she and her fiancé at the time had a bowling match to determine if she would or wouldn't change it.  She went from Darlene Mason to Darlene Humpenfeffer.  Yeah, she lost. 

I switched my thinking on this a while ago.  I felt it was "important" for the first wife to change her name, and realized it was sort of a PITA.  Then she had to change things back after the divorce (more her problem than mine).

With the second wife, I realized, who cares?  Sort of tradition, maybe even antiquated tradition, and really doesn't make a difference.

The wife also kept it because she had a lot of performing/acting credits and lots of information out there with her old name and didn't want people to think it was a "new person".

I have had ZERO issues in the last 10+ years.  The IRS has no issue with different names.  Home ownership, travel, me picking up prescriptions, etc.  When I see that not changing your name has zero negatives, I didn't see the point of wasting a second of energy changing it (which includes credit cards, bank accounts, and all that jazz).  We know we are married to each other.  Everyone we know, knows we are married.  We don't need a last name to indicate that.

The ONLY confusion that may come into play is if/when we have kids and who's name they take.

Oh, and maybe someone can explain the OP?  It smells of crazy, but I don't understand what's happening at all.

What about an engagement TT bike? No?

The whole taking names issue aside, I don't even understand what she's getting at here. So, if it's a healthy relationship, and you ALSO don't understand what the hell she's talking about, this is where you say, "I'm sorry, could you clarify what you mean by that?" and ask some other questions, like, "Why your Dad's name, now?" and maybe, "Remember when we started dating and you said you didn't think marriage was necessary? Do you still feel that way or have you changed your mind?" And if she's drunk, wait until the next day to ask  

Seriously, ASK HER. Not us. Communication makes relationships work (and if she can't discuss this with you without being passive aggressive and weird, then maybe it's a red flag).

Sure if she's getting me one!  I won't date another triathlete

The OP's lady is sounding more and more strange every minute.

I think I'll stay WAY clear of this thread knowing THAT word was used.

Holy crap......no wonder I still can't figure out what my wife is saying 90% of the time.