A Heartfelt Plea

That's rough   You sound like a good guy.  I feel that life is about learning from mistakes and not dwelling on them too much.  Good luck to you!

I'm sorry to hear you have been going through such a difficult time.

Good luck to you.

Thanks for the post. 

Call it a longshot, but give her a bonafide reason to try again. 

Unfortunately I've seen this happen several times.  Quite frankly it's the main reason I quit our local tri club - I watched  a former friend destroy his marriage and family because of his addiction to training.

This sport can be an addictive, selfish pursuit.  It also can serve as an escape from other problems in life that people can't or won't deal with. 

It's a freaking sport, a recreational activity.  If it becomes the most important thing in your life, then you need to get some help with your priorities.

Mark

I'm sorry to hear this Jamie.  Steph and I commented about how you looked "off" after B2B, and we just figured it was the wreck.   If we would have known we would have been better friends then we were.  Keep your head up.

Seven years of marrage vs Ironman, really?  I know this sounds harsh but does your hobby really mean that much to you?  No one cheated, no one lied, there was no abuse, it was mostly just triathlon?

You wrote, "we sat down and told each other we love one another".  If there is still love then there is still hope.  Will she give you a second chance?  Do you want a second chance?  Maybe you two can get some outside help with your marrage.

I really do not mean for this to sould like an attack on you.  I'm just saying that if you want to stay married then fight for it and do whatever you need to do.

I'm sorry to hear about your problems, I really do hope it works out for the best for both of you.

Thank you for your openness and honesty about your situation. As someone who is about to embark on my first IM (IMCDA2010), I take this very seriously. I will do whatever it takes to keep my marriage solid through this experience. Honestly, I've already considered that this may be my one and only time--because I know the amount of hours (and money!)  involved and talked to an experienced Ironman who lost his marriage much like what you are going through.

With that being said, I agree with the others that since you both have love in your hearts, that all may not be lost. Tell her you can change--and mean it. Being a triathlete does not mean you have to do IM's over and over again. Do sprints and Oly's and spend less time training and more time with her. I apologize for offering you advice when I don't even know you, but I was moved by your post and feel compelled to respond.

Thanks again.

It sounds like there is still a chance!  If nobody has strayed and you are both willing to work on it, then do it.  YOu may never have this chance again, fight like hell to keep it together!!!!

My marriage ended after 12 years, I started triathlons after it ended. I tried everything I could to keep it alive, it just did not happen.  If you try now and it still fails, at least you did all you could.  Don't regret not trying!